So, 5 Americans Walk into a Pub....

went to a pub to do karaoke, got kicked out for NOT drinking alcohol
(their fault, didn't know how to make a sherly temple)
Belligerent Pub-Provider: Will we be drinking tonight?
Jonathan: oh, do you need ID, I don't drink, but here ya--
Belligerent Pub-Provider: --I need to know will we be drinkin' tonight? ya know this is how I make my livin' *imagin this in the most forceful tone a british man from the southshires can put on.)
Jonathan: I understand that everyone needs to make a living, so, I will have a sherly temple
BP: ?
Jonathan: Sprite and Grenadine--preferably cherry.
BP (or was it the unattractive wench? I forget.): we don't make cocktails here, only beer
Jonathan: do you have Cranberry Juice?
BP: no
Jonathan: I see. well, we are waiting for a mate to swing by, and it is always rude to start drinking without your mate. and it is also bad to drink before you do karaoke, which is why we came, so we are going to wait for her to start singing, then we are going to rouse it up
(lies on the we part of drinking on the portion of Jonathan. unless they could prove to me that fermented grains could gain me a stable walk home.)
BP: grumble-- *stares at the group of fellows for a while and my already plastered, forerunner of the sortie, friend (who he gave the same chat to hence purchased 2 pints worth of something fierce)
*5 minutes pass as we wait for our friend*
BP: *out of the blue* if you aren't going to be drinking, I wont hold these tables for you, now either buy some beer or get out (mind you, the place was empty, say 5 Americans, and 7 brits and yours truly)
Jonathan: are we going to be drinking?
Alex: *in his '3 kinds of wendsdays' slur* fuckno! this place had to put club soda into your beer to give it fiz the ugly ass-- (which was true...and he had to put club soda into his stuff because it had gone flat too.)

once again, my nonalcoholism has pushed the world to the edge...nay, the brink.

and I don't mind it at all. not at all.